Or as Naima might say, “Waaaaaaaaoooooooowwwwwwww.” We have a lot to go through.(Pictures will be added to this point to illustrate the main bullet points, by the way.)
N!D!W! #1: The facial hair
I don’t grow facial hair very well. It’s spotty and sparse, so it has that oh-so-desirable “pubes glued to my face” look, that I’m sure everyone thinks is hottt. (That’s hot with three T’s.) Also, I’m apparently part-calico, because it grows in as three very distinct colors: dark brown on my cheeks, strawberry blonde around my mouth, and I Love Lucy red on my chin. It’s like Neapolitan ice cream, only frustrating instead of delicious. Still, despite all the above evidence to the contrary, I decided to pursue having facial hair.
Well, that’s sort of a half-truth. I didn’t so much “decide” as “forget to shave for a few days and then figure I might as well keep it going.” But still.. that’s a decision! Now, I’m not one of those guys (= the majority of guys) who have to worry about five-o’clock shadow. I might maybe have to worry about five-o’clock-the-following-Tuesday shadow, and even then, it looks more like I got a little dirt on my face than anything. Some call it a blessing (“You don’t have to shave every day!”); I call it a curse (“I look like I’m twelve.”) So this, then, has been my attempt to thwart that curse. I will look older, damn it.
All the brown facial hair was pretty quick to go. I gave it a shot, but it’s really the worst offender. I’ll never be able to have sideburns, and a chinstrap is entirely out of the question. The rest of it had potential, but needed time. Lots and lots of time. Long story short, after much waiting and trimming and reshaping, I am left with what appears to be a Van Dyke I’ve been growing for as many as two days. Really, I know guys who can grow better beards during the workday than I have now,and this damn thing’s been a three-week ordeal. That being said, I think the idea suits my face well — it gives me a bit of angularity, when I otherwise have a very soft-featured face — but I’ll have to wait for it to thicken up before it looks completely intentional. Who knows how long that could take?
Also, I wonder if it’d be worth it to get some Just For Men to get the color to match the hair on my head. Or even to match itself, really.
N!D!W! #2: The cat
No, not Burrito. The other cat. As in, there is now (at least temporarily) another cat. He’s very sweet and is currently all up in my grill. For real, guys. It’s very difficult to type, and he just shoved his nose into my eye socket. But it’s all out of love, if the has-not-stopped-since-we-got-home purring is any indication.
The story is, I was out with some friends at a bowling alley, and we had decided to head to a club for the evening. Only, in the parking lot of the alley, a friendly but very skinny cat wandered up to us, meowing and rubbing up on any leg he could get to. In other words: cat was hungry. My heart then began to bleed, and when my friends hopped in a taxi, I told them I couldn’t leave the cat (the alley’s not in a residential area, or else I’d've figured he lived somewhere right around there). So, I stayed. We got him some chicken scraps and milk from the alley’s kitchen, and he scarfed it all down in no time. I am, however, currently dealing with the consequences of that diet, because he has some RANK gas right now.
Yes, I took him home. I didn’t know what else to do. I’ve made an appointment with the local vet clinic for Monday morning, so we’ll have him checked out. I’ve given him a mild flea bath, though I didn’t notice any fleas or flea dirt on him, and I’m keeping him fed without letting him gorge himself, but it’ll be important to get him some dewormer and some better flea protection. He’s a very sweet cat, and I’ll try to find him a good permanent home, but Lord knows there’s a chance he’s here to stay.
Burrito is not pleased. Normally, he greets me by shoving his head into me and purring. Today? Growing and hissing. Oh yeah, he’s pissed. And the cats haven’t even met yet.. he’s pissed about the very notion of there being another cat in my apartment. We’ll see how this turns out.
N!D!W! #3: The music (mine)
The demo is nearing completion, though I think I want to record a couple more tracks to beef it up. My plan was to do that today, but with the cats, I don’t know if it’s possible. Either (a) the new cat will attempt to climb up my leg while I’m recording my vocals, and in the middle of a line, I’ll suddenly scream, “Holy Mother of God! My femoral artery!”, or (b) the new cat, having been relegated to a room where he cannot see me, will start crying incessantly, so the vocals will have that haunting cat-howling-in-the-background effect that’s so popular with the kids these days.
N!D!W! #4: The music (not mine)
I went on a CD-buying binge yesterday and bought ten albums from Amazon. Some are absolutely brainless, one of them cost ONE CENT, but I’m sure they’ll all prove to be worthwhile in some way or another. Even if only as a coaster. Hey, one cent is cheap for a coaster! Aaaand, I’m not even done. Today, I’ll be buying a few more than Amazon either didn’t have as good a deal on or didn’t have at all. In the next two weeks, I may be unavailable for comment on anything, and I’ll have headphones permanently affixed to my ears.
There’s more, there’s more.. but right now, there’s also a cat (Burrito) whose very confused as to why he’s closed in the bedroom. Time for me to go get growled and hissed at.
